My cousin’s friend caught a seizure today during their baseball game. It was so scary because he was looking directly at me when it happened. He was sitting right next to me and I thought he was joking around until he smashed his face unto the ground. His face was covered in blood and his girlfriend (my other cousin) burst into tears. I just hope everything goes well with him. :-(

Why is eHarmony emailing me? How did they know I’m lonely and live with 10 cats?

jokestard:

Let gays marry so they can be miserable like everyone else.